christian.

a summary of faith's notes.

2010-05-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Faith and I were chatting online. She was excited to tell me about what she learned today in her Greek class. Since her notes were handwritten, she gave me a brief summary on her word study of REPROVE, REBUKE, and EXHORT, from 2 Tim. 4:2.

Faith: okay well. so, 2 tim 4:2
the first word, REPROVE, is elegcho
it means to put to proof, to test; to convict, to refute, confute, convince. in the bible, when it comes to unbelievers it is translated to "CONVICT" like against the law. John 16:8 uses the word in reference to the role of the Holy Spirit.

now, when it comes to BELIEVERS, look at matt 18:15, where it is translated to "TELL him his fault," and in revelation 3:19 JESUS says, "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent."
so, when it comes to believers, there is a motive of RESTORATION when we reprove. there's LOVE
so, that's the first word REPROVE

the second word is REBUKE, which is epitimao. meaning "to set a value upon; to assess a penalty; to allege as a crimination."
for believers we must look at luke 17:3, " Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you,[1] rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him." same thing in 2 cor. 2:6-8.
so, there must be a motive of love AND truth. truth without love is brutal and unforgiving.

the last word EXHORT is parapakaleo, meaning "to call for, invite to come, send for; to call upon, exhort, persuade, call alongside."
2 cor 1:4, 6 is an example of comfort and exhortation.
here's the amazing thing about the word for EXHORT!!!
it requires personal authority. meaning, one must be already walking in the way to call someone to walk in it too. so, you cannot tell someone, "YOU SHOULD PRAY MORE!" if you yourself are not praying. get it?
so, we can agree that there are RESTRICTIONS when it comes to trying to correct someone. especially if you are not "corrected" yourself

me: or "you should worship in this way" if one doesnt already have the right heart of worship

Faith: EXACTLY
so, here's where it all comes together:
there's a bunch of words for the WRONG way to correct a brother: blasphemeo (lu. 23:39), oneidizo (mark 15:29), loidureo (john 9:28) = rail, blaspheme, revile, strive, envy, abusive language
basically, the person who uses those type of words are not really concerned with the spirit or attitude of the person they're rebuking.
they seek to EXPOSE the issue without taking responsibility
they do not really seek restoration
there are NO restrictions as to how much they can rebuke and correct
they know how to see and point out the problem without really seeking out a solution
and dave shirley said something amazing that pretty much got me where i was, "do not just listen with your ears, but listen with your spirit."
*drops mic dramatically and walks away *
i turned to amy next to me and told her that this was EXACTLY what i needed

me: thats exactly what i needed too.

THE INFINITE : Live at Lestat's 3.21.10

2010-03-25T12:51:00.001-07:00

(i hope this works!)

track list:
1. what charlie meant
2. cardboard wings
3. your heart is an empty room (dcfc cover)
4. new year
5. pretending this distance ceased to exist
6. redefined lines

you can download the whole set here:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/f0qzy13ukwl/Live At Lestat's 3.21.10.zip

also, because you're so kind to listen to the infinite, here are a few extra tracks for you, if you don't have already:

what charlie meant:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/gmwzyynmy4e/what charlie meant.mp3

cardboard wings:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/o2rve4y1yj5/07 cardboard wings.m4a

pretending this distance ceased to exist:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/jmmgugemt0i/08 pretending this distance ceased to exist.m4a

note: if you already had "cardboard wings" or "pretending..", please replace whatever you have with these better sounding versions.

thank you so much for listening!
-christian

across the sea.

2010-01-13T03:17:00.000-08:00

bring me back to new york
even if its just for two hundred
and seventy two seconds

time refined the pettiness out of worry
but at least you still sound the same
something i could only dream of

i never had the courage
so this is the best i can do
an ambiguous plea on repeat

let me run and i'll let you follow me.

studious.

2009-10-09T00:50:00.000-07:00

studious is not a word i would ever use to ever describe myself. not even to joke about. just typing the word and looking at it makes me feel uncomfortable.

i usually place the blame on high school and community college, which could easily have been mistaken for high school if it weren't for the expensive textbooks and freedom to be tardy/absent. of course, i put it upon myself too, perfecting the practice of getting straight A's with barely any studying.

im afraid it has come back to bite me. now im forcing myself to learn HOW to study, all the while, trying to remember everything i've heard and read about accounting in the past few weeks. after exam 1 on monday, i think im going to spend a whole day sleeping. or eating. or doing anything that doesn't require thinking...

perhaps bowling.

bowling is actually fun late at night, by yourself. it sounds pretty lonely, but i just look at the bright sides:
first, you dont have to wait your turn. you just keep bowling. nonstop.
second, if you bowl a gutterball, no one you know sees it.
third, being an arc member, i dont have to pay a thing.

yes. after my test. im gonna take out all the frustrations of accounting on those pins.
and, sometimes, those gutters.

"just keep yourself occupied..."

2009-10-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

..she said. at least someone knows me well enough, i guess.

I haven't felt this much pressure in a long time...

i dont even know what to write.
this isnt helping at all.

only the best...

2009-09-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

i dont go to shows often. but for some reason, i've had the privilege of going to the best i could've ever imagined. to name a few, i begin with my first ever real concert (not counting local 'battle of the bands' or other small venues):

paul mccartney, staples center, 2005. (thanks to celester)
paramore/rise against/thursday/underoath/others..., SD warped tour, 2006. (thanks to chris)
paramore/the starting line/ the almost, SOMA, 2007. (thanks to andrew)
the swell season, open air theater at SDSU, 2008. (thanks to faithie)
metallica, citizens bank arena (ontario), 2008. (thanks celester)

and last night, with great addition to the list, was a triple threat of some of my favorite bands of all time:

taking back sunday
romie and i missed their first couple songs. i know this because i researched the setlists prior to the event. we entered the venue to "cute withouth the 'e'", the breakthrough single that really popularized their name. the vocally-high ranged songs and adam lizarra's raspy voice, the product of a habitual smoker, arent the best mix. the replacement for former member fred mascherino actually sounded well and was quite impressive. unfortunately, "cute.." was the only song from their debut album (and many would agree, their best album), but the newer hits, including "liar (it takes one to know one)" and "makedamnsure", filled the rest of the set. one of the most entertaining aspects was lizarra's mic-twirling antics in between the messy vocal trade-offs and echos. after those long drives to riverside community college and orange county of looping their albums nonstop, it was nice to finally see tbs live.

weezer
flat out, amazing. weezer came out covering half of black sabbath's "war pigs" which merged right into 'the green album' hit, "hashpipe". in the beginning, i instantly noticed that the drummer, pat wilson, was on guitar, and after three or four songs, i started to think that i was mistaken. but sure enough halfway through the set, wilson went back to drums (but later finished the set back on guitar, but not after shredding some solo's). (romie and i think that the fill-in drummer was a roadie or something.) unlike taking back sunday, weezer performed many songs from their older albums, including "undone", "surfwax america", "my name is jonas", and "buddy holly". despite having many years under their belts, rivers cuomo headed weezer for a very energetic, almost playful performance, jumping around on a trampoline on stage, throwing a football into the crowd, smashing a ukulele onstage, and getting the crowd involved, all the way down to the last song, a clash cover of "should i stay or should i go?". i'm so glad i was ever able to see them live, especially after reminiscing that music video "on the set" of happy days...

blink 182
by this time, i was able to press myself to five feet from the railing. they also added extension platforms to the front of the stage, so when blink came charging with the upbeat "dumpweed", i was ten feet away from mark hoppus. and then came hit after hit, one after another and it was amazing. other than the one hit from their debut album 'cheshire cat' ("carousel") it was a good (and perfect) mix of every album with much emphasis on their latest (self-titled). to restart the encore was travis barker, with the amazing "levitating" drum solo, which i really looked forward to, and it definately did not disappoint. one disappointment, however, was the exclusion of "adam's song", but the set was perfectly topped off with "carousel" and, of course "dammit", the very first blink 182 song i remember hearing from long ago...

an amazing show it was, leaving me with a stiff neck from elbows, nail-scratched arms, and a t-shirt soaking with mine and whoever's sweat. three bands i never imagined ever seeing live, i did. (thank you, niki. again.)

now im looking forward to another december of metallica.
(thanks to celester again).

face the facts.

2009-09-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

a lot of what ive been hearing in the past about sdsu's accounting program keeps getting verified by our instructors, the teacher assistants and fellow students, and the basic point is this: there is a high chance that i will not pass this class.

im glad i was able to aquire a single dorm room. this is my first free day since the semester started, and with petty assignments early on, im trying to relax while i can; "the calm before the storm."

i had an interesting conversation with faith yesterday that was noteworthy. i guess i'm starting to accept the fact that, sadly enough, music may not be a large part of my life in the next few months. i'm putting music into a place in my life i never wished i'd see it, and that is, "only when i have the time". its not a priority anymore and it hurts to admit that.

im keeping myself distracted from that. basically, i'd like to see how i fare in this accounting program. im just praying that if im not made for it, after i do my best, God would let me fail, so then i can know for sure.

even more, im praying that i could survive.

occurrences i dislike, solutions to said occurrences.

2009-08-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

the problem:
(ive had it twice before...)
my vertigo came back yesterday morning. not fun.
the constant spinning feeling, walking like youre drunk...
i actually ran into a few walls trying to exit my bedroom.
this time, i was able to manage the day without vomiting.
i just kept my mind distracted, thanks to...

the solution(s):
uncle bayin faxed a perscription to walmart, which my bro picked up (you cant expect to drive under these conditions), but i passed the time effectively with my wonderful and wonderfully hacked ipod touch. thats right!
the "tiger woods pga tour" app was completely free, and offered round after round of intense, realistic golfing action! extremely effective to ward off the motionless, motion sickness that aimed to ruin my day!

the problem:
i HATE how, when in search of one object, you find everything you've ever owned except what you're looking for. case in point: my reservoir-dog (mr. orange) sunglasses. i spent the other day searching for these glasses in every room/car/shelf/drawer/backpack in my house. "alas, nay, to no avail."
today, in the fridge, i stumbled upon the hummus i purchased and instantly developed an urge to consume said hummus, but not without its complementary good, PITA BREAD. now where did i put.....? THE SEARCH WAS ON!
an exhaustive search it was! and after many grueling minutes of searching for pita bread, what do i end up finding????????????

my sunglasses.
why, mickey. why.

FOUND

the solution(???):
i should begin a search for something new. then perhaps i would find my missing pita bread....

MISSING

on second thought...
*grabs ipod*

insomnia.

2009-08-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

i read my first blogspot blog. it mentioned something about "hopefully making it to sd after one more year of junior college". and now it's less than a month away...

the rented window of my rented bedroom in this rented house faces the neighboring house. this means, out of all the rooms, its the only one that gets almost zero airflow. blanketless and in boxers feels like ive got a fur coat on.

i should buy a little fan.

after a trip to the dentist a few weeks ago, i found out that i had no cavities, but i do grind my teeth in my sleep. long story short, a form fitted mouthpiece sits on my lower teeth at the moment. my jaw is getting fatigued of being unable to close, and my mouth dries so fast.

the rented floorboards creak so much, i opt not go downstairs for water and just suck it up.

to take my mind off it, i remember how long it has been since ive written music.
too long.
i need new ideas for a song.
i used to write so much, it was ridiculous; rambling the most penetrating and clever words ive ever conjured up in five seconds. but now, nothing but drought.

i need to learn how to write well when my life isnt a big mess.

i need to sleep.

2009-07-31T01:34:00.000-07:00

she said "live up to your first impression"
well my best side was your worst invention....

cant wait to see them live.

When everyone you meet...

2009-07-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

...all seem to be asleep
You wonder if you're missing your dream you can't see

A dream you just can't see.

Claw dropper, dennys, and other things.

2009-07-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

Summer break is rad.

Finished Vbs week for the kids, went to dennys a bunch with the DC, went to la playa a few times, got slightly burned and peeled...
I won another stuffed animal from the claw game in dennys, first try again, makin my record 2 for 2. I always believed those things were impossible...

I'm waitin for ppl to show up for guitar class and I now realize it takes forever to type a short blog on an ipod touch.

death cab + fireworks.

2009-07-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

july 4, 2009.
i saw a fireworks show like no other.
probably the best one ive ever seen...

we parked our car a few blocks away from the park in the same neighborhood we've used for years. the baseball fields were more packed than ive ever seen, a testament to the middle class vacuum of inland empire suburbia. that, and maybe also the sixty grand that temecula spent this year on independence day festivities while surrounding cities canceled plans to save their money. so we found some space in the grass far from the jolly-jumps, booths, and the stage that showcased no-name bands doing their best covers. *cue "oye como va"*

the loud speakers were blaring a couple baseball fields over, providing only background music for our field. awaiting the start of the show, i lied down, slipped some headphones on and pressed play on my ipod. *cue "blacking out the friction"*

then the normal countdown came, followed by the normal cheering, and the normal blackout. i took off my headphones, followed by the normal music accompanying the normal fireworks. with the speakers so far away, the explosions made the music impossible to hear. so with quick brilliance, i came up with the best idea i could've ever formulated in that situation... and i slipped my headphones back on. *cue "i was a kaleidoscope"*

then began MY OWN fireworks show.
no one saw it the way i saw it that night.
many of the cues and downbeats were right on, so perfectly aligned with the explosions in the sky that i couldnt help but grin and laugh to myself. and it didn't end there... *cue "styrofoam plates"* one of my favorite songs ever...

each of the echoing notes in the second half of the verse were accompanied by suitable explosions, that gracefully burned as they floated to the ground. it was almost how i'd imagined that song would've looked in the form of fireworks. down to the last detail, including the one green firework at the lyrical mention of money, and a flurry of lights at the climactic instrumental outtro...
wow. and this went on for the rest of the album, so i started back at the top. *cue "steadier footing"* and it's last line, "...like this, it just will not last."

as my fireworks show ended with the song "movie script ending", i thought of what a bummer it was that no one watched it with me. but i guess that's the beauty of it...

all that's left of it is my poor attempt at explaining how awesome it was, inadequate to draw up the scene for others to understand.
the end.

in other news:
thanks to niki's super belated bday present, come september, i get to see three of my all time fav bands live! bands that i grew up with...all in one show! im so exctied!
ahh! thanks niki. oh. and for the dwight bobblehead (which wasnt belated).

summer break.

2009-07-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

over a month since writing in this. and i missed so many things.
my birthday, for one.
a couple trips to disneyland.
(i have yet to use up my third day. it expires at the end of the month.)
vbs painting and skit practices.
a fourth of july.
a dentist appt...

i mention that only because i have a follow up appointment in an hour.
it has been suggested that i get mouth guards because i grind my teeth whilst i sleep.
how lame is that?

i feel better after using the word "whilst" in a sentence.
but then again, what's the difference?
whilst. while. whilst. while.
it just makes me feel like a cocky european with an accent, maybe drinking tea.

im going to shower now.

T-minus 30 minutes.

2009-06-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

half an hour away from my last final of the semester, and hopefully, my last class of community college.

i stayed up all night doing my note card on my laptop.
yes. typing out mathematical equations and formulas can be a pain.
ive never seen so much calculus jam packed in such a small space in pt 8 font.
i tried to sleep for twenty minutes, but it didnt work.

ah well.
im not tired anyways.
im looking forward to officially kicking the summer off after the final.
im gonna go get some la jolla w/ faith, niki, kimi...

and THE barbara espinoza.

the last day.

2009-06-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

so here i am.
lying on my bed. watching videos on paramore.net instead of studying, like i should be doing.

lightning/thunder had been going off in the distance until suddenly, it sounded like it was right above my house. in that moment, a huge rush of rain came down. i thought this only happened in the movies.
it was a funny occurrence because the first three thunder strikes were loud enough to set off two car alarms each. they weren't even the same cars either.

anyways.
tomorrow could very well be the last day of community college i ever have to face. how exciting. to know that i'll be climbing out of the black hole of a high school re-run.

and just as i said that, the loudest thunder strike went off...

followed by two more car alarms.

hooray for muse.

2009-05-28T06:50:00.000-07:00

i woke up quite early for some reason.
and im too awake to go back to sleep.
so, i'll make the most of it, since ive already decided i dont need to go to my last normal class of business calculus.

today, i'll work on more songs. the uuuuge...or yoooooge. (as in "usual").
i might go to student venture at lunchtime. the last one of the school year.
later on, im going to try meeting up with mitch to learn a few things on guitar.
and then worship practice tonight.

sounds like a plan.
and as for muse, watch this awesome song:

from the HAARP dvd

i like the drum part at 2:47.

more of the same.

2009-05-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

the mind that God installed in this body has sensitive steering.
i find myself off track frequently.
(not that im complaining of how He created me. its just interesting.)
and this study guide seems impossible to finish.

in the course of trying to focus on the study guide, I:
-found a new favorite dessert, which consists of mint chip ice cream and cocoa krispies.
-hit up rubio's taco tuesday!
-wrote more stanzas that could last for forever in my head until they reach completion.
-looked at paramore pictures.
-listened to a million muse songs, provided by niki the drummer.
-listened to one of my favorite songs ("obslolete" by mutemath), which, in addition to playing bass last sunday, had me thinking about bass guitars.
-looked up some basses online and fantasized owning one.
-talked to faith for 15 min. as she walked home.
-ate taco tuesday leftovers on a wednesday.
-wrote a blog.

it sounds like im trying to start my summer early.
but no matter how hard i try, i still have a law final in five hours.

sleeplessness and music.

2009-05-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

there's a very faint whirring sound in the distance outside of my window. it sounds off for eight seconds at a time, followed by twelve second breaks, too consistent to be an insect or animal. unfortunately, it's too warm in my room to keep the window shut. and the fact that i noticed the sound is driving me crazy, the same way the smallest paper cuts hurt a million times worse once you realize it's there.

i had plenty of time today to work on my group presentation for business comm class in sixteen hours. so i spent a "good amount" of that time to working on new songs.

and 100% is a good amount.

so to add to my collection of verse-lacking choruses and lyric-lacking guitar parts, ive come up with more incomplete material. its amazing how bad i am at finishing songs...

i, like many others, had a childhood dream of being in a rock band. and for me, "childhood" means from middle school to present day (and slowly fading away). i remember the early days of writing songs, struggling to accompany those corny lyrics with a melody. then came the phases of musical influence, the bands/albums i wished i could emulate, if not with friends, then just me and my acoustic. the list goes as follows, in chronological order:

-dashboard confessional /places you have come to fear the most
-the starting line / make yourself at home ep
-the starting line / with hopes of starting over / say it like you mean it
-fall out boy / my heart will always be the b-side to my tongue ep
-maroon 5 / live acoustic ep
-afi / sing the sorrow
-taking back sunday / tell all your friends
-taking back sunday / where you wanna be
-brand new / deja entendu
-straylight run / self-titled
-copeland / beneath the medicine tree
-damien rice / o
-the swell season / once soundtrack
-death cab for cutie / all albums
(i kinda got lazy to end this list. nowadays, its a big mix, but primarily dcfc)

anyways.
im left to wonder how it would be like to play loud shows in far places. i always found it too hard to find other people to write music with, and for the most part, resorted to doing a typical solo acoustic thing. and even now, in "the infinite" with faith, we've only begun to make the writing process a joint effort, instead of individually. and now, in the ongoing struggle to finish school, i just hope i can keep this going...

i wonder these things often. just about every day.
i just thought i'd mention it.

spin move!

2009-05-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

in regards to writing, things are starting to pick up again.
its nice to know that it still has its place in my life. after all, it is one of my passions. i'd hate to see that day when it becomes utterly pointless. i hope that day never comes.

utterly is a funny word.

tonight, business law class was utterly pointless to attend. i didn't even listen to the lecture. i just worked on the study guide that could've been done in the comforts of my own home. and i also watched the updating score of the nuggets/mavericks game on nba.com, which could've also been enjoyed at home, not to mention, on HDTV.

my brother, romie, who is enrolled in the same class, chose a perfect night to play hooky. i'm not sure how it is in the UC's and CS's, but for community college, you can skip a good amount of lectures and still do well. but, i just happen to have a fear that the teacher might give extra credit or some valuable piece of info when i do decide to skip. and thus, i watched a basketball game in the form of incomplete sentences; delayed updates that never do justice for all the great plays.

i never know the right time to use a semi-colon; apparently.
what?
speaking of semi-colons, watch this amazing video of the amazing....

DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE

receptionist: "oh! hello dwight..."
dwight: "SPIN MOVE!"

distraction.

2009-04-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

some of the worst timing, i tell you.

i've an open-note test on wednesday.
the class: business law.

so, i've a couple days to finish the study guide. oh, how i need it too. my last test was "average", if you catch my drift. (the last test was closed-note. note that.)

and of course. when deadlines for school come up, such as this test, the essay that's due next week, and the group project in business comm, etc., the urges for other things arise:

-writing.
-playing guitar.
-drawing.
-thinking.
-going on blogspot and writing about this whole process...

it seems like when there are no school-related deadlines, i dont do these things. in a way, i almost hope for more assignments and tests to keep me on my feet with the list above. (i take back that last statement as i realize what i just said.) gah. its just a bummer thats how my mind works, as i laugh at myself through a long sigh.

other news:
yesterday was my brother's birthday. i went to four different stores to find a good deal on a sweet-looking laptop sleeve for a present. after finding best buy's overpriced sleeves, and staples' wide assortment of girly-looking ones, i settled on getting him a racquetball racquet and balls.

you know. cuz laptop sleeves and the sport of racquetball are related.

so, to add to the distraction, i hope we can get into the sport of racquetball, after so long of seeing the random people play in la fitness and wondering how i would fare in those little rooms. that fast-paced awesomeness, similar to tennis, minus having to chase down all the balls that go astray from amateur mishits.

that was an incomplete sentence.
and im wondering if the inventor of the word "mishit" ever considered adding a dash to it...
either that, or the "s" word was made afterwards.

three years down...

2009-03-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

and we keep moving on.
its funny to think of the times early on, when i doubted it would ever work out.
now, it would be a shame to give up on it.

i play that scene over and over again in my mind. all the goofy hype that everyone made.
its nice to know im one of the blessed few who can for sure say they have a best friend.
it took NINETEEN years...

...but that works too.

ive been thinking again.

2009-03-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

awake since 3:30am. nothing worked.
i guess these things happen.

as of ten minutes ago, ive accepted the fact that my day may be spent half awake with a high chance of a nap to creep up on me midday and destroy the comfortable cycle i had of rising with the sun.

sometimes i question myself if certain ideas are worth running with, and what difference is it going to make further down the road. and apparently, i could question for hours at a time. people say different things (only a few people, i might add) and its another question of who's being more realistic.

i have class in an hour.

that's all i have to say about that.

san diego, here i come.

2009-03-01T21:28:00.000-08:00

my life as of now:

"Application for: Fall 2009
We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to San Diego State University..."

wow. alright. so now, its just passing these three classes, and turning in transcripts by certain deadlines. (i know i said i'd stop talking about school, but i thought it might be worth mentioning.)

also, REVAMP '09: Illuminate.
ivvc's very first self-run spring camp. april 3-5. $112. guest speaker: matt amargo.
please pray for this camp. we still need many more ppl to sign up, as well as many other elements that are yet to be straightened out. so far, the revo staff are doing an awesome job which is a blessing to see. i know the Lord will use this camp mightily as long as we continue to trust and seek Him....

also.
water is awesome:

best detox agent
decreases risk of different types of cancer
regulates metabolism
regulates body temperature
cushions joints
aids in preventing/curing diseases
other rad things.

so. calculate your daily fluid intake. take your body weight, divide it by two:

(your body weight in lbs) / 2 = amount of fluid IN OUNCES (oz.)

this is your daily FLUID intake. so ten to twenty percent of your fluid can come from foods you eat. also, sports/caffinated/juices/tea/soda drinks contribute as well. just watch out for the extra sugars and calories that certain drinks offer. water is the best bet, and its the cheapest too!

i should be a salesman for water.
and water should pay me...

in the form of dark chocolate m&m's.

one million percent = an A million plus

2009-02-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

its kinda lame how i always talk about school. i'll promise myself this will be the last time, so i can prove to myself that i still have some bit of imagination left...

so. the calculus homework i mentioned last blog was turned in complete... and then lost by my teacher before the grade got recorded. it turns out, someone else accidentally grabbed it, so it was returned this morning (after a weekend of worrying.)

our tests were also returned.
i aced it. (dont get me wrong. i got lucky on some of it.)
plus the extra credit problem.
105 percent.

the only reason why i'm mentioning all this is because, thanks to that test, now i have over one hundred percent in all my classes. furthermore, i'm mentioning it because it won't last very long, and until my grades start floating like a cannonball (damien rice reference), i will brag.
in a blog.
because i can.

so. now im home again. i ate some honey bunches of oats to celebrate and reward myself.
hooray for free time.
perhaps i'll watch a movie on my laptop (michael clayton) and sew.

i sewed a large macbeth tee that i bought at a thrift store years ago for $0.25, and now its a better fitting sleevless. i'm about to do the same to a large PRS shirt i got for free when i worked at guitar center that i never wear. due to its large size. and my malnourished body. hah...

up and atom.
(simpsons reference).

one of my worst ideas yet.

2009-02-19T04:45:00.000-08:00

...the kind that you look back at, call yourself an "idiot" under your breath, and admit your stupidity.

whenever i see "homework due on test days," i automatically assume that i can hold off on the homework and wait it out until the due date gets closer. sometimes, it actually works out without much problem. other times... like now... it comes back to bite.

looking back in all the math classes i've taken in my life, i have NEVER done as many problems IN ONE SITTING as i've done tonight. goodness gracious... i'm so tired of math right now...

eight sections of homework is due in about three hours, followed by the first test of the semester.

now would be a good time to sleep.

been singing along.

2009-02-16T23:21:00.000-08:00

for way too long.
cannonballs... bedroom walls... cardboard wings...perfect endings...
the list goes on and leads me back to square one. there's gotta be a way out of this.
the day i realize it doesn't work is the day they find out it does, like setting sail with a broken ship.

"when everyone you meet all seem to be asleep
you wonder if you’re missing a dream you just can’t see..."

two. twelve. ninety-nine.

2009-02-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

the other night (early morning), i woke up.
i couldn't sleep.
looked at the cell phone for the time: 4.00AM
the date caught my eye...

02.12.2009.

"two twelve. that sounds familiar. isn't that the date in that starting line song?"
i sang the numbers over and over again in my head, half-awake.
i rolled onto my stomach, reached into the dark and fumbled for my ipod. it clicked on and blinded me...

music.
artists.
the starting line.
leaving... ah yes. "leaving" was the name of the song. ive a horrible memory when it comes to names of people, and apparently, song names too. i listened to ken sing...

"two-twelve-ninety nine. at the stroke of midnight. holding you tight..."

its a good feeling when you're right. come to think of it, that was exactly ten years ago when ken had the "best day of his life". it's been about six years since i first heard this song, since that album played over and over, pumping out of my car speakers on those long drives that i thought were worth sacrificing.

they werent.

i ended up listening to the whole album, until the sun came up and my half of the world woke for a brand new day, not knowing of my venture down memory lane. oh, the quiet things that no one ever knows...

three.

2009-02-09T00:12:00.000-08:00

today. i baked cookies with faith. the first two batches came out a little too brown, but still tasted great. the rest tasted even better... well. what i was able to taste, at least, beneath my stuffed nose was amazing.

then we drove to fresh 'n easy to get some orange juice, eggs, and milk to go with our cookies. i love how every register is a self-checkout, and how most people are ridiculously slow at scanning their items and placing them in the bagging area.

we went back to the house and enjoyed our milk and homemade cookies while watching top gun, laughing at how we all thought those fighter pilots were so rad, playing beach volleyball shirtless, riding motorcycles on sidewalks, and lounging in steam rooms with only towels on. not to mention kelly mcgillis' poofy hairstyles and "you lost that lovin' feeling" playing on the jukebox...

those were the days... when we all wanted to be fighter pilots.
(when tom cruise's movies were worth watching.)
anyways. enough about top gun. im tired now.

goooooood night.

blogs!

2009-02-08T01:49:00.002-08:00

a full minivan + first saturday of the month + a long drive to almost-mexico...

= burning bush!

seeing friendly faces is always a treat. and for some reason, every conversation included the topic of blogs. so now, in this new bedroom, thanks to a tall iced americano, i am online at two in the morning reading some blogs:

-carlo and his flash fiction about bianca, which he mentioned to me previously,
-katherine and her electronic indie's and awesome hightop macbeth's
-rommel and his "quick post that he'll delete next time he signs on"
-and the other kat. who i call dog. and i didnt find her blog.

anyways. so those four. plus the original two that previously knew about my blog and i already keep up on (niki and faith) makes six. i should learn how to "follow" blogs. like xanga's "subscribe".

oh, poor xanga. you remind me of a deserted western town with dust, tumbleweeds, and a lone bartender who hasn't poured whiskey in years...

i ate an orange with hopes that it would do something for this cold. maybe i shouldve chosen medicine. and this americano better wear out soon because i must wake early for worship practice...

hah. i just heard my bro come home.
and i thought i was late...

not the way home.

2009-02-07T00:16:00.000-08:00

a three-day notice, dated january 27th, was posted on our door on february 2nd, the same exact day that our offer was accepted to rent 40120 calle yorba vista. this house, not too far from our old apartments, is taking on the title of "home", and this street, i've seen countless amount of times since '92, and i've never imagined it would someday lead "home".

i fell asleep tuesday night not knowing it would be my last night in that room. everything that followed was a nonstop flow of boxes and furniture... it makes me feel even more tired just thinking about it. most of the work is done. now its all up to arranging everything. and getting over this stupid cold.

the majority of this house is floored. it makes for a cooler house during the day and a freezer by night. unlike any other home i've ever had, it creaks with almost every step. hopefully i can get used to it quickly. i think, out of every move we made, this was the quickest, most spontaneous slap in the face.

last wednesday, romie and i were driving back to red oak lane from our night class (not knowing the night before was our last) and he said, "its weird knowing that this is not the way home anymore."

i wonder how long it'll take to get used to this time...
its raining outside.

[note. ma told me that on the 27th of january, the saint raphael dr. house foreclosed under my dad. so goodbye to that one too...]

cardboard boxes.

2009-01-26T02:11:00.000-08:00

...so it's final.
we've less than thirty days from a week ago (so, a little over twenty days) to vacate, and i'm not too fond of moving, (but then again, who is?) especially from here. this place isn't like most others. i mean, this house wasn't really just a house to me... and i know for my mom and brothers too...
i guess that doesnt matter much anymore.
it has been a nice time, a couple months short of five years.
i don't know why, but i always imagined coming back after growing up, having a family, yada yada... and i'd still have a key to the front door.

maybe i'm just too sentimental.

either way, the house is emptying as the garage is filling of cardboard boxes, strategically stacked like a game of tetris...minus the disappearing lines, the colorful shapes, and the 8-bit russian music in the background. okay. bad example. but i do find it entertaining walking barefoot over the semi-permanent dents in the carpet where the heaviest of furniture once sat for years...

what i now refer to as 'the heaviest semester' begins in one day, my best friend comes home in half a day, and i cant sleep. i'm watching children of men again on my laptop, and decided to write this that maybe i could fall asleep while doing so. but i've said all that i can think of right now, and i've reached my favorite part of the movie... the super long, continuously-shot scene towards the end.... yeah. that one.

i might as well finish out my third time watching this film, and afterwards, make another desperate attempt to fall asleep.

fall '08 completed.

2008-12-17T15:36:00.000-08:00

...and what a way to end.
yesterday, i chilled with ej and anton. we hit up this pho place which never disappoints. after i got home i started to feel weird. it turns out, i was in for another fever.

i hate fevers.

i couldn't sleep last night, tossing and turning, chilling then burning. i remember hallucinating something, but i can't remember exactly what. and today, i had my last two finals. what a crappy time to get sick.
i drank some naked juice and downed a couple of tylenols i got from the girl in my stats class so i'm feeling a little better. i feel even better knowing that fall '08 semester is now over.

now i get to watch those movies that my brother put on my external hard drive.

metal.

2008-12-12T14:51:00.000-08:00

ihh. cuh.
yes. metallica.
in a few hours.

my list of things to do is down to one essay and three finals left.
so i guess i pretty much survived the fall 08 semester.
its crazy to look back, and see how every six months bring on the same barrage of projects, essays and finals. a vicious cycle. at least i'll be out of community college soon.

last weeks coffeehouse was good. and it went like this:
-what charlie meant (with the loop pedal)
-untitled 1 (with the loop pedal)
-untitled 2
-new year

im eating too many bite-sized candy bars.
three musketeers gets boring after one bite.
back to my essay on karl marx's economic theory...

the perfect storm.

2008-12-04T01:01:00.000-08:00

i haven't seen the movie. but i think i get the gist of it; a few storms combine to wreak havoc on a boat who is caught in the middle of it. so here's the metaphor:

boat = me.
storms = all the end of the semester assignments that i decided to put off until the last week.

my fault, really. and its not just school related. there are other factors.
i made a list of what i need to do, and one more just got added on tonight:
saturday, december 6th
-coffeehouse
monday, december 8th
-stats project due
-stats homework due
-stats test #4
wednesday, december 10th
-csis technology report due
-csis test #4
-csis crosswords
-econ harley davidson report due
-econ karl marx report due
-econ microsoft reoprt due
-econ key date paper due
-acct take home final due.
friday, december 12th
-metallica concert
saturday december 13th
-revo
and then finals week.
and then ivvc christmas party.

so yes.
perhaps now would be a good time to start.

coffee(house) and midterms.

2008-09-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

another coffeehouse coming october fourth.
this time, just 'the infinite' in its bare, original, acoustic form.

i promised myself i wouldnt mention the microecon midterm i have on wednesday that i've yet to study for, and the stats midterm the following wednesday, for the sake of keeping things on a lighter note. so... forget i mentioned it.

in preparation of this saturday, i've looped a five song playlist with the hopes of memorizing every word. (we only have a twenty minute set, so we might remove a song.) but, here's a spoiler in no particular order:

new year (with a new second verse!)
what charlie meant (with a loop pedal?!?!)
hosanna (maybe)
blower's daugther
existentialism on prom night.

i better start studying tomorrow.
goodnight.
-christian.

anchor & braille

2008-08-09T01:44:00.000-07:00

chatting online, the conversation came across this band, a collaboration of aaron marsh of copeland and stephen christian of anberlin. as i listened to the song "sound asleep", i felt compelled to write to my best friend on the receiving end of my enter button. i originally thought, as i let my fingers dance, i had no meaning or significance with those words; that they were destined like so many for trash cans and delete buttons. but, apparently, my best friend thinks otherwise. i promised to save a copy of it:

it almost makes me mad (more jealous, i guess)
but listening to it makes me feel like a feather
falling in the midnight sky
the stars gaze and watch my descent
the way a loving mother watches her newborn asleep in the crib
and me, as a pure white, weightless feather
slowly sinks in the air
only to float on the surface of water
as i touch, ripples depart from my landing zone
through which the surrounding water lilies barely sense my presence...

such music i once could only dream of
and with a bittersweet moment
i realize someone has finally discovered and recorded it
and that someone was not me.

i honestly still think its not that great.
gah. was there ever a time i had an ounce of pride?

-ownworstcritic.

coffeehouse come and gone.

2008-08-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

so the coffeehouse last night was pretty much secured the 2nd of august a spot in the top three highlights of summer '08. perhaps much has to do with the very few efforts i make to find places to play. either way, last night... "ftw".

if i can remember this correctly, there was the fcfc youth worship band, then the ivvc hula team, john sin 'n friends, all else fades, followed by an intermission. and then there was teddy, then us, an awesome keyboardist/singer named martin and his female friend, and then kathy nguyen with randolph and some other guy.

and yeahhhh. there were many different moods that night, including that awkward feeling that everyone knows and shares as it makes a grand entrance, marked by stirred nerves and shifty eyes, uninvited, but once arrived, gives the party no other choice but to either burn in humiliation or learn to embrace it, and laugh it off inside. ahh yes, there it was again. on the flip side, i did enjoy john sin's set, like a john-mayer-esque treat with a dash of jimi.

lastly, all i've to say left (is that grammatically correct? the "i've" contraction sure is tricky sometimes)... uh. what?

anyways. not to brag or anything, many opinions in circulation say that we had the best sounding set and the best crowd response. knowing me, a pessimist and own worst critic, i'd naturally incline to disagree. but, given that i was on stage and not able to hear what the audience heard or their response, i've no leverage for disagreement. (i said "i've" again.)

so, the lesson:
people are encouraging. sometimes.

the end.
-christian.

ready, set, and...

2008-07-31T12:55:00.000-07:00

eighteen days left until fall semester, one more year of junior college, and im day dreaming again. san diego, (hopefully), here i come. and then graduating, and then the career... you know... the one that ive chosen to be my answer to almost every person i meet when we cant find other things to talk about.

a brand new blog means im tired of the old ones; the ones that speak of broken bonds and burning bridges in the form of high school poetry, and through time, some of the most vague but meaningful masterpieces of free writing ive ever conjured up in my life. yes, my tiresome is the reason for this...

that, and because im a copycat.

the infinite is playing this saturday, and here is the lineup:
-what charlie meant
-cardboard wings
-falling slowly (glenn hansard cover)
-redefined lines
-coffee (copeland cover)

it would be nice to have gigs more often. it would be nicer to have confidence.
and gig is a funny word.

i gotta go practice these silly songs.
-christian.